Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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