I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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