I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
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