I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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