I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
