I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
