she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize