My girlfriend figured out who you are.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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