how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
