Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he shaved USA in his pubs
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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