Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
