hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
