there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
