that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
