at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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