Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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