i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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