great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
