i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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