Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
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She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
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All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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