what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
