I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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