Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
