So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
