laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
