I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
