bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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