think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
