I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
