he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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