hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
