my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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