3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
