i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my being single is dangerous.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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