it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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