Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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