I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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