People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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