Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
