we have officially lost it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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