if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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