IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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