Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
