At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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