He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
