How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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