you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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