I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
