so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
