gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
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So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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