The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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