My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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