Who did Billy Mays play for?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
