But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
