Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
