So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
