No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"