I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.