he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
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Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
being pregnant is like rehab
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
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well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened