My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.