even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I FOUND THE LEGS
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