What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize