I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.