wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.