I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.