Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
