i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
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She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
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I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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