I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
vagina is talking i cant
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There's always time for handjobs
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He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
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Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Im part way to drunk.