Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(647): View more from Ontario

Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.

Fav 38 4318 732
share tweet
(949): View more from California

mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.

Fav 38 849 4506
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Little spoons don't ask big questions

Fav 18 4718 1133
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now

Fav 9 3665 993
share tweet
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.

Fav 16 4377 879
share tweet
(905): View more from Ontario

MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.

Fav 40 5753 1862
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.

Fav 7 8060 1240
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes

Fav 4 1348 822
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.

Fav 2 32 83
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT