Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?