Will you blow on my dice?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing