good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.