ADVERTISEMENT

• (586): View more from Michigan

  There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks

  Fav 16 3305 1100

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  it was a mass text i'm sorry

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?

  Fav 18 4205 1440

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

  Fav 16 3443 1012

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!

  Fav 129 6631 987

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts

  Fav 7 3018 933

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined

  Fav 8 1648 1091

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome

  Fav 3 2184 1011

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?

  Fav 4 2188 851

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.

  Fav 1 821 1687

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period

  Fav 8 2559 817

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?

  Fav 3 1237 750

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts

  Fav 5 508 681

  share tweet
  

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.

  Fav 1 573 331

  share tweet
  

• (646): View more from New York

  Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?

  (212): View more from New York

  hahah yep

  (646): View more from New York

  Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?

  Fav 3 52 30

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (817): View more from Texas

  So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.

  Fav 0 3 20

  share tweet
  

Randomize