The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
