You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
