She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
