You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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