I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
