Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
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