so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
